This has been an emotional week.
Monday evening, tragedy struck a friend of mine. Her husband and four year old daughter were driving back home from dropping the missionaries off at their apartment when they were hit head on by a drunk driver. Ella, the four year old daughter, died on impact. My friend's husband was in critical condition, with shattered bones, surgeries scheduled, and a long recovery time ahead of him.
Tuesday morning, I call my sister (not knowing anything at this point). When she answers the phone, immediately I know something is wrong. As she explains, I cannot help but collapse on the floor and begin to cry. As we talk about what happened to this family, my heart aches for what she is going through. How is she going to deal with this tragedy? How is she going to explain this to her 3 sons? How can they forgive this young woman who chose to drink and drive, and by doing so took away this special spirit from her family?
Then, my thoughts turn to my selfish self. Why did I call my sister that day? I called with full intention to vent to her about what a horrible day I was having with my cranky daughter. I called to beg her to come to my house to give me some sanity for a couple of minutes. I called because I thought I needed a break from my daughter. Little did I know, that one of my friends was having a truly terrible, earth-shattering day. My friend would give anything to have a 'horrible' day back with her daughter. To hold her as she cries for no reason. To feel her pinch and scratch her cheeks when she was overly tired. To rock her for hours as she refuses to go to sleep. How dare I think that my day was bad.
As the next days passed, I was able to learn more of how the family was doing, and what other friends reactions were. This sweet family has more strength than I even thought possible. As my friend walked into her husband's hospital room to tell him that Ella didn't make it, he immediately looked at her and before she could even say anything said, 'it's ok. We're an eternal family'.
And THAT is the beauty of it. Of course we are all still sad for the loss, and the void that this has left in our hearts and lives. BUT, we know that the church is true. We know that we can have forever families. We know that Ella will be reunited with her family someday. We know that she has returned to our Heavenly Father, and that she is happy.
Today, I felt peace. I saw my friend. I saw the strength in her eyes. I saw her testimony of the gospel radiating from her. All is well. They will be fine. They will be happy. And most importantly they will be together again someday.
So tonight, as I fought my own little girl to go to bed, I tried to be patient. I rocked her a little longer. I kissed her forehead a few more times. I stroked her hair till her eyelids got heavy. My life has been put back in perspective; the eternal perspective. Because I am grateful for every moment I get to spend with my girl on this Earth. And I am even more grateful that I will be able to spend the eternities with my forever family.
8 comments:
I'm so grateful for the knowledge of eternal families, but so sorry for that families' loss. It has to be so hard for them right now. We all need this eternal perspective reminder as mothers. ;) Thanks for sharing.
I heard about what happened. I went through all the same feelings as you Naomi and the next day I had a lot more patience with my daughter. I held her a lot and played with her a lot and realized how lucky I was to have her in my arms. I have prayed so much for them and i'm so glad to hear she's doing ok and feeling peace through this wonderful gospel.
Thank you for sharing this. I am so sorry for the loss that the family is going through and I am grateful they have the gospel to give them that peace. It breaks my heart to hear about a mother losing a child and my prayers will be with that family. How blessed we are to know that we will be families forever.
I will hold Bella a little longer and tighter and try to have more patience which as bad as this may sound, this is what I needed to hear (the perspective, not someone losing a child. I never need that to happen)
I'm sorry for your rough week too. Thank you for putting things in perspective for me.
I was having a rough night with Aidan the night that my grandmother called and told me that Ella died. When I put him to bed that night, I gave him extra kisses and extra I love you`s, and was so grateful for every fit, every meltdown, every time he hit me, and every time I had to count for him. Even though I don`t always enjoy those moments, I did that night, and I am thankful for every difficult moment with him. My heart goes out to Dacia and Devon and I commend them for their strength. Thanks for this post.
my dear friend, i love what you shared and especially what he said when she came in...such strength! i heard as well on tuesday when i happened to be at the bookstore and someone mentioned it. i told her, and i'll share here what i read tuesday morning in Pres. Monson's bio i'm slowly reading. he was speaking of their close family friends who lost a child. it's a statement by Joseph F. Smith: 'Joseph Smith declared that the mother who laid down her little child, being deprived of the privilege, the joy and the satisfaction of bringing it up to manhood or womanhood in this world, would, after the resurrection, have all the joy, satisfaction and pleasure, and EVEN MORE than it would have been possible to have in mortality in seeing her child grow to the full measure of the stature of its spirit.' isn't that beautiful!?! so grateful!
Oh Naomi,
Thank you for your profound and beautiful thoughts. That family (and yours!) will be in my prayers.
Love you!
What a sad time. :( I'm so sorry for your friend.
Last year a friend of mine had a baby die from SIDS. I try to remember her loss when my kids drive me crazy or my baby refuses to sleep. Times like these really puts things in perspective for us.
Thank you sweet daughter. You bring light and love with your story. MOM
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