To my only child.

My dearest Grace,

I love you so unbelievably much.  I could never have even imagined the wonderful impact that you have had on my life these past 3 years.  You will always be my first baby. You were  the one that made us parents.  You were the first one to call me "mama". You were the one that helped us understand more fully the importance of having an eternal family.  You helped teach us that parenthood is the hardest job in the world…and that there is absolutely NO other job that we'd rather have.  You've given us so much…and now we are going to give you something: a brother.

I know, I know…you might think that you would rather have a barbie, or some new shoes. There will be some days that you probably WILL want that instead. But, let me explain. Siblings are wonderful. I have three sisters and your father has two brothers that we wouldn't trade for anything. We want you to experience the joy that we have had and continue to have because we have siblings.   There will be days when you fight, and tease each other. There might even be days when you are annoyed by his obsession with all things gross or when he uses your best dress as a towel to wipe the mud off his hands.  But, be patient. He will also be your fiercest protector, your biggest supporter, your partner in crime, your best friend. He will love you, and you will love him. Just trust me.

As my due date quickly approaches, I just need you to know how much I love you. I know you already know that I do…but I want you to not forget. EVER. Not when I have a crying baby in my lap who needs my attention when you want to play polly pockets. Not when I'm so exhausted from being up all night, that I fall asleep mid reading you a book.  Not when I forget to feed you lunch because I'm busy feeding the baby.  Not when we stay at home all day and miss the park play date because mama is too tired and overwhelmed.  Just promise me you won't forget because I can promise you that I will NEVER forget how much I love you.

In these last few 'only child' weeks,  I have been touched by how wonderful you are. You always want to say the prayer, and you always remember to bless your baby brother.  You sporadically come up to me and bear hug my tummy while saying with eyes squeezed tight, "I love you, baby brother!" You've helped me put his clothes away, you've helped me pack my bag, and you love to feel him 'kick you in the nose'.  You know that things are changing soon, and you have been extra cuddly. You want to be close to me always, and you are constantly snuggling close to me and whispering, "I love you, mama. You are the best mama in the whole world." Trust me…I need to hear that. I wish I would bottle up all those snuggles and love and keep them in reserve for the days that you will inevitably be frustrated with me and those "love you's" will be few and far between.

So, my only child, know that I will miss our days of just us girls playing dress up, having fashion shows,  sharing lipstick, and going on shopping adventures. But, I also look forward to us sharing so many good new memories with this new little boy. So, here we are, right around the corner from a big change in our lives. But, I rejoice in the fact that you will have a little buddy, and that he will have the best big sister in the world.  And I hope that someday, when you are a mom of one on the eve of becoming a mom of two, you can read this and know that what you are feeling is OK.  But for now, just remember that I love you.  I love you more. And I love you most.

Love,
Mama